


...But Three Lefts Do

by kuonji



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Drama, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-17
Updated: 2011-10-17
Packaged: 2017-10-24 17:06:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/265856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuonji/pseuds/kuonji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Starsky and Hutch are mad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	...But Three Lefts Do

**Author's Note:**

  * For [starskinsons](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=starskinsons).



> For starskinsons, who said, "I love when they say YES!" I couldn't resist...
> 
> Alternate Links:  
> <http://starskyhutch911.livejournal.com/147906.html>

"I can't believe it. I can not be _lieve_ it!" Starsky swore as he slammed the door. He revved the engine angrily and barely waited for Hutch to get in before taking off. Other cars leaving the courthouse honked at the speeding Torino. "Yeah, take it to the judge! Fat lot of good it'll do you, too!" Starsky shouted back, purposely not slowing down.

"All right, that's enough," Hutch muttered. "We knew going in there how it would probably go down."

"But six months! That's a goddamn insult!"

"It's better than nothing."

That was almost exactly what Starsky had said just this morning: _"Whatever he gets, it'll be better than nothing."_

They'd been trading off plying the platitudes all day. Well, right now it was Hutch's turn, and Starsky was going to max it out.

"He doesn't deserve less than six _years_. That's what I know!" He blasted his own horn at a slow-moving vehicle ahead of them. "I shoulda broken all of _his_ fingers and toes. See how he likes it."

Hutch sighed. "Two wrongs don't make a right."

"Yeah, but it'd sure as hell make a lotta people feel better. Why, I just wanna--"

Hutch pounded one fist against his window. "Will you shut it already? You know I feel the same way. God, I don't know why we're even still talking about this!"

Looked like it was time to switch off again. Starsky scowled, looking for a way to calm himself. He knew from experience that they couldn't both be mad at the same time without disastrous consequences.

His stomach gurgled, momentarily distracting him -- and giving him an idea. He tapped his finger on the steering wheel a few times. Then he smiled.

"Funny about that phrase."

"What?" Hutch said, his tone short.

"Two wrongs don't make a right. But two negatives make a positive, huh?"

"So, what?"

"So isn't that weird?"

"Starsky, one is an ethical dilemma, and the other is a grammatical construct. There's no relation between them whatsoever."

Hook, line, and sinker. "So you would have no 'ethical' objection to us not never eating at the Chili House?"

"Not never... _what_?"

"What I mean is, if I toldja I didn't not want to eat at the Chili House today, you wouldn't say no, right?"

"What are you talking about?"

"It's a very simple question, Hutch. If I weren't to tell you that we're not eating at the Chili House, wouldn't you not say no?"

"Starsky, you're crazy. How am I supposed to--"

"Just answer yes or no. Don't you not want to avoid eating at the Chili House for lunch?"

He glanced over. Hutch had a dazed look on his face. He'd definitely forgotten about everything except what was coming out of Starsky's mouth. "I, uh... nooo?" he said, tentatively.

"Great! The Chili House it is."

"Now, wait a minute!" Hutch's brow furrowed, probably trying to count up the number of negatives in the last sentence. Starsky had no idea himself what he'd said, exactly, but Hutch didn't need to know that.

Starsky signaled a turn at the next stoplight. "Hey, Hutch. You know what does make a right?"

Hutch looked wary, but he answered gamely enough: "What?"

"Three lefts!"

Hutch's groan filled the car, and all was right with the world again.

  
END.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this story, you might try these:  
> [Bloodbath Boiled Down](http://community.livejournal.com/starskyhutch911/108652.html) (Starsky & Hutch), by kuonji  
> [I Don't Care](http://kuonji14.livejournal.com/11266.html) (Stargate SG-1), by kuonji


End file.
